Lesbian Flirting Signs

Lesbian Flirting: Signs from Strangers

I’m alone in a lesbian club waiting for friends.Wide-eyed girl in black seems to be sending flirting signs to me.

Girl in bob also seems to be sending flirting signs to me.  She catches my eye and I smile at her. (Girl in bob).

What are we all saying? Well I thought Girl in bob was cute, that if I am single I might just want to get to know her better in the romantic direction.

From past observations, I’ve noticed that lesbian flirting signs are not that different from signs which straight women give off when flirting with someone they fancy. However, the flirting process might just have some differences in dynamics.

In Sam Van Rood’s book of Flirting, in a club setting, he mentions that it requires a simple flirting process.

The Straight Flirting Process 

A woman has to first make eye contact with a someone she likes.

To assure the other that her eye contact is not a mistake, she looks at him again and smiles.

This is when the he takes action by approaching her or loses his chance forever.

It is mentioned that in this flirting process, men take on the role of the ‘hunter’ and women, the ‘chooser’.

The beauty of this is that chances of rejection are slimmed down when one does the approach, because the OK signs are already given.

It sounds quite easy and systematic, somewhat like line dancing.

However, I’ve heard many complaints that it is difficult to meet other girls in lesbian clubs.

Can the dynamics be the same when translated to the lesbian approach?

Lets backtrack.

The Lesbian Flirting (Pre-Approach) Process 

Step 1. Girl A spies a girl she fancies. Lets refer to the girl she fancies as Girl B.

Step 2. Girl A tries to send her flirting signs to Girl B, by making the lesbian eye contact with Girl B, in her mind thinking how hot she is.

Step 3. Girl B catches Girl A’s eye contact. Lets assume that Girl B also feels attracted to Girl A and sends her signs back to Girl A.

Step 4. In order to make sure Girl B knows that the eye contact is not a mistake, Girl A looks at her again and smiles. Girl B reciprocates by mirroring.

Step 5: So at this point, either Girl A or Girl B can do the approach and be received well because they have already given each other the OK signs.

Approach or wait to be approached?

Sounds simple, but more often than not it isn’t simple.

What if both Girl A and Girl B wait for each other to do the approach?

The question is who should act?

Although there are labels like butch/femme existing, there is no written (or unwritten) rule that one naturally assumes a ‘hunter’ role and the other a ‘chooser’ role.

Even if so, in the case of lipstick lesbians, it is going to be a constant guessing game.

From past observations, typically Girl A will do the approach, because she had cast her signals first. When gathering for friends’ opinions, most of them agreed on Girl A too.

Which means that although Girl A and Girl B have sent each other signs and ‘chosen’ each other, Girl A being the first ‘chooser’, she is expected to approach.

Recognise and Act

Expectations aside, here is the good news:

As long as you have correctly identified lesbian flirting signs from a girl, she is likely to be receptive to you when you approach her.

Approaching is already going to be easy. It doesn’t matter who makes the move.

What matters is that one of you must ACT on it. If not you will just be two passing girls who happened to look at each other a little longer than usual.

The not-so-good news is:

If you have sent her your signals and you don’t get reciprocated, chances are she may not be receptive towards you.

This can apply even if you’re in a monogamous relationship. Being able to recognise signals and give out signals is a great way to make new friends easily.

It need not always have romantic or sexual overtures.

Speaking of which, Girl in bob eventually does come up to me to say hi.

I am extremely grateful for her approach because I have grown bored waiting for friends.

After some small talk she introduces to me her girlfriend, Wide-eyed girl in black.

Now I have found a lesbian couple that I can double date with.

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