So, you like a girl, but you don’t exactly want to make your moves on her. You do, however, want her to make her moves all over YOU.

How do you seduce another woman to seduce you?

You tempt her with your body.

Flaunt whatever you’ve got.

A lot of girls I know have a thing for girls with flat tummies and hip bones. Nice, tight arms are also a plus. So if you’ve got those, flaunt it! Wear a top that exposes your tight body and a pair of low waist skinny jeans that shows off your sexy hip bones. If you’re not too (aneroxic) skinny or not too fleshy, you’d probably look pretty good and make a few girls drool.

Warning: The following is not for the faint-hearted or shy lesbian.

Take every chance you’ve got to take off your top in front of her. Make sure that falls on a day when you happen to wear a nice bra. To be safe, wear a nice bra everyday.

Sounds very lesbian sluttish but act like it’s really not a big deal. If she acts all shy or a little awkward, congratulations! The temptation bug is biting at her.

There are so many excuses for you to take off your top in front of her. Like in Marissa and Alex’s case, Marissa had taken off her top just to ask Alex to inspect on her tattoo on her lower back.

If you don’t fancy having a tattoo, you can always pull your girl crush along to go bra-shopping, and lead her into the changing room with you on the pretext of needing a second opinion. After all, clothes can look really different on the hanger as opposed to on a person.

An advance step forward, take every chance you’ve got to get naked in front of her. You’ve got to be really comfortable and confident about it, if not, don’t try it.

While Marissa was at Alex’s place in the morning, she conveniently took off her clothes and asked to take a shower. Before she stepped in the shower, she turned around to give Alex a good view of her body, leaving Alex gaping.

If it’s not convenient to always crash at your girl crush’s place, (or for her to crash at your place), the gym is a good place to go. Get your girl crush to go to the gym with you. Instead of queuing for the changing room, change in front of the locker, in front of her. See if she turns all shy or begins to gape.

If she starts to look at you like that, you know she already has a lot of ideas about you brewing in her head. 

 Your job is already done. So, just sit back, relax and wait for her to pounce on you.

Image Credits: O.C. The Second Season

1. Without her asking, give her a nice massage. 

She will appreciate it, especially after a day’s work. Another good time to give her a massage is in the morning when she is about to wake up from her sleep. You will make her feel really good by waking her up to a massage.

2. Help her apply sunblock lotion when both of you have to be out in the sun.

Not only does it feel really sexy, you are also helping your girlfriend preserve her youth. She wouldn’t mind some protection against UV rays and prevention against wrinkles while you are rubbing it onto her skin. Make sure to use non-greasy organic sunblock if not she will get mad with you for clogging her pores.

3. Be her ‘makeup artist’.

If you’ve ever had the privilege of a makeup professional putting makeup for you, you’ll know how sexy it feels. Make her feel the same way. But of course, if you are the type who a) is not very gentle and/or b) doesn’t know how to put makeup, then the sweetest and simplest thing to do is NOT to attempt this.

4. While you’re at it you might as well paint her nails for her.

5. Caress her face.

According to Kamasutra, of all the nerves that excite sexual desire, two are found in the face. Need I say more?

6. Always get caught in nice lingerie.

You’re telling her that you still care about how you appear to her. If she looks at you with those eyes, you know she appreciates it.

7. Bend down to help her when her heels get stuck.

Although it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when one’s heels get stuck anywhere, especially right in front of the escalator, the wearer immediately experiences high levels of stress. Whoever gets to her rescue instantly accumulates a lot of goodwill. If you happen to be wearing a tight short skirt while carrying out this act, the goodwill you accumulate doubles.

 8. When she’s having a bad day, kiss her ass.

 But if she is the type who is always having a bad day, you should kick her ass instead.

Image Source: Lady In Heat

Does it take one lesbian to spot another?

Not necessarily.

Once, I turned up for a lesbian party at a local club that claimed to have a waiver of cover charge for lesbians. Unfortunately, the door butch couldn’t scan the lesbian in me and I had to pay my way in. What made it more unfortunate was that 3 other girl friends whom I’d asked along with me had to pay their way in as well. Needless to say, we never went back to the party again.

Another time, I went to a lesbian forum alone and a girl asked me this, “What’s a straight girl like you doing at a lesbian event?”

Even under such obvious and blatant circumstances, a lesbian can actually be mistaken or suspected to be straight.

Such encounters are not uncommon (and not exclusive) to lipstick lesbians.

Lipstick lesbians 

To grab a definition from the Urban Dictionary, lipstick lesbians refer to feminine lesbians who are attracted to other feminine women.

From the same dictionary there is another definition, which I really like, that says: 

lipstick lesbian = “The sexiest type of woman alive. A feminine lesbian.”

The Lesbian Look?

Contrary to popular belief, there really isn’t a standard lesbian look.

Lesbians come in all shapes and sizes, wearing all kinds of bracelets, shoes, and hair.

Some of the stereotype associations with lesbians include short hair, spiky gelled hair, mullet, purple wristbands, tattoos, rainbow tees… and the list goes on.

If one’s lesbian spotting skill is only based on judging another’s appearance, it is time to throw away that gaydar and acquire a new one. With a gaydar like that, you can score a lot of hits and also a lot of misses.

A straight woman can walk around with short spiky hair, dressed in a punky style and wear a purple wristband.

Likewise, a lesbian can also sashay around looking like a straight Barbie.

Nobody needs to compromise on how they want to look just to suit other people’s expectations.

Spotting the Lipstick Lesbian

Lesbian spotting is an important survival skill to acquire because it helps us to suss out who our potential partners are. 

After all, to be able to date a girl you must be able to spot the girl who will likely go on a date with you in the first place.

Lipstick lesbians need to develop keen lesbian spotting skills that are at least a notch above the basic level of gaydar because of their unobvious appearance and their search of lesbians with unobvious lesbian appearances, in order to suss out lipstick lesbian signs. With a strong gaydar, it will easier to spot who the lipstick lesbians are.

Of course, there are always mass lesbian parties where lipstick lesbians can get to meet other lipstick lesbians through trial and error. However, this can be a case of finding Wally in a busy picture full of people.

Bottom line is:

Develop a keen set of lesbian spotting skills.

It will empower you and make it inconsequential where you are: lesbian setting or non-lesbian setting. 

You can literally go anywhere to get your lipstick lesbian other half.

The world is your (lesbian) oyster!

After you’ve got green lights from your desired woman, it is time to move from subtle lesbian flirting to major lesbian flirting.

Subtle lesbian flirting was explored in Smooth Flirting Moves of a Lesbian Temptress (1).

Of course, it isn’t a fixed rule that one needs to move from being subtle to obvious when it comes to flirting. Subtlety, however, plants you like a seed into her mind. If she allows it to grow into a plant with flowers blooming of fantasies, she may even make her advances before you do!

Major Lesbian Flirting

Invite her to your place.

Give her a very valid reason why she must turn up for the invitation.

For e.g. “ I dreamt of you last night. If you want to know what happened during my dream, you have to come to my place for dinner on Saturday.”

If she agrees to your invitation, she is ready for your advances.

Pick her up from work.

Walk close to her. If you are standing on her left and her left arm is behind her back, gripping her bag that slings on her right, she is actually withholding the urge to either put her arm around your waist or hold your hand.

What do you do? Walk even closer to her.

When you are having dinner, pick up some food for her with your chopsticks. It is a simple act that carries a symbolic meaning, especially to Chinese. One only picks up food for someone he/she cares about.

Sit close to her. Lean closer.

Tell her that the first time you saw her, you had already wanted to kiss her.

If she kisses you and pulls back, tell her you both better get back to eating, if not you’re going to lose control. Anyhow you both know what is going to happen later, better to eat your fill first.

Get really close to her and gently brush her hair back a little. Whisper softly into her ear. It is going to turn her switch ON.

After all that the following is usually inevitable.

 Image Source: Butterfly / Hu Die  

You tempt her. 

Do it subtly first, gradually turning up the heat 

Compliment her positive traits:

E.g. tell her how gentle she is. Say it with your gentle voice and gentle eyes.

Where she is able to see it from her sitting position, give her full view of one side of your exposed neck by turning your head. You have plenty of chances to do this when you are in a restaurant trying to look out for the waiter/waitress.

A lot of people don’t realise this; but the neck is actually quite a tempting piece of skin to bare.

If she gawks at your neck like that, you can turn up the heat by a notch. 

    When eating with her always watch out for any food around her mouth.

This is an excellent opportunity to help her wipe it off with either your fingers or napkin.

I would recommend the napkin though because many girls are very particular about anybody’s fingers touching their faces.

Although it does feel very sexy to have the corner of one’s lips lightly traced by another girl’s fingers, its better not to run the risk of her spending the rest of the evening worrying about potential breakouts on her face.

Also, when wiping her mouth with the napkin, do it gently and perhaps slowly, if not its not going to seduce anyone.      

Every time she talks about something that she gets emotional about, whether it’s something exciting or tear jerking, grasp her hands. It will make her feel like you want to share her emotions.  

You get the green light on grasping her hands when you find her doing that in return and she holds your hands a little longer than usual. 

Touch her on her arm whenever you want to tell her something and always maintain eye contact when you do this. 

Give her an innocent goodbye kiss on the cheek. It has to be the light and lingering kind.

Make her skin tingle and make the kiss linger in her mind.

This would be considered just a little more suggestive in the Asian context as giving goodbye kisses are not commonly practised among Asian women. 

It is important to look out for green lights and red lights during your subtle albeit seductive interaction with her. If you spot many red lights and she looks like she is going through trauma, do respect her space. If you spot green lights, you can graduate from subtle to not-so-subtle.

Moving on to more  smooth lesbian flirting moves  

Image Source: Butterfly / Hu Die 

What happens when you like an older woman who is shy and doesn’t exactly give out strong enough lesbian flirting signs for you to detect?

Look out for subtle signs that she likes you:

She fondles with her fingers a lot when she sees you. Coupled with a coy expression like that, she really DOES like you.

She cares about how she appears in front of you.

She flicks her hair away from her face when she sees you,

and has a tendency to stroke her hair like how a girl would, when she gently washes her hair by the river. It’s a very feminine act.

 Another give-away sign is when she keeps stroking her knuckles upon your arrival.

 And of course, she looks really shy when you are close to her.

If you like a woman who is really that shy, and she shows signs of liking you, do make the first move. Because all the moves she makes are probably only contained in her fantasies.

 Image Source: Butterfly / Hu Die 

If you are wanting to flirt with an older lesbian but you are not sure how to do it, take some cues from Annabelle in Loving Annabelle. Make sure you’re not legally underage though.

You know you like her when you do all sorts of things with your lips when you see her or think of her. 

You bite your lips.

You also touch your lips a lot because you wonder how it feels like if she is touching your lips like that.

You find yourself checking her butt out when she walks past you. She probably knows it because women have invisible eyes on their back. They can feel your gaze even when you are looking at them on the spy.

How do you flirt with her without saying a word? Give her the sideway glance with your subtle smile. If you can do it well its quite a come-on.

Send her flowers when she least expects it. Accompanied with an anonymous message you both have a mutual connection on.

See if she instinctively guesses its you.

Appear at her doorstep uninvited, wearing your sweetest smile so its virtually impossible to turn you away.

Whenever there is an opportunity to sit with her, jump on it. 

Inch closer to her and watch how she reacts. 

If you find her:

 (1) fondling her necklace,  

 (2) looking into your eyes intensely even in such close range,

 (3) glancing at your chest,

she could be attracted to you. 

If at the same time, she has created an arm barrier between you and her, she is also feeling a little defensive and is protecting herself from you.

Ask to take a look at her necklace so that you have permission to enter her personal space and she can’t put up her arm barrier. However if she places her palms together, she is still feeling defensive and closing her body to you.

If you’re bold enough, take your chance to trace her chest area around her necklace.  

When she gives you mixed signals of attraction and defensiveness, it might not be a good time to attempt to kiss her as you face a rejection possibility.

If you do face a rejection, back off gracefully and give her space.

As long as she doesn’t push you away and/or jump off the couch, don’t be afraid to interact with her again.

When you see her again, don’t be afraid to look at her like how you used to. 

Ask her out to a place with a relaxed setting. Get to know her and get her to know you. Whenever there is a chance, smile at her and engage her with your eyes.

Inch closer to her whenever there is space between both of you, close enough for you to smell her hair.

Touch her on the wrist. 

And perhaps, like Annabelle’s love interest, after all that flirting, she can’t help herself but finally surrenders herself to you.

Image Source: Loving Annabelle 

Girl in bob also seems to be sending flirting signs to me.  She catches my eye and I smile at her. (Girl in bob).

What are we all saying? Well I thought Girl in bob was cute, that if I am single I might just want to get to know her better in the romantic direction.

From past observations, I’ve noticed that lesbian flirting signs are not that different from signs which straight women give off when flirting with someone they fancy. However, the flirting process might just have some differences in dynamics.

In Sam Van Rood’s book of Flirting, in a club setting, he mentions that it requires a simple flirting process.

The Straight Flirting Process 

A woman has to first make eye contact with a someone she likes.

To assure the other that her eye contact is not a mistake, she looks at him again and smiles.

This is when the he takes action by approaching her or loses his chance forever.

It is mentioned that in this flirting process, men take on the role of the ‘hunter’ and women, the ‘chooser’.

The beauty of this is that chances of rejection are slimmed down when one does the approach, because the OK signs are already given.

It sounds quite easy and systematic, somewhat like line dancing.

However, I’ve heard many complaints that it is difficult to meet other girls in lesbian clubs.

Can the dynamics be the same when translated to the lesbian approach?

Lets backtrack.

The Lesbian Flirting (Pre-Approach) Process 

Step 1. Girl A spies a girl she fancies. Lets refer to the girl she fancies as Girl B.

Step 2. Girl A tries to send her flirting signs to Girl B, by making the lesbian eye contact with Girl B, in her mind thinking how hot she is.

Step 3. Girl B catches Girl A’s eye contact. Lets assume that Girl B also feels attracted to Girl A and sends her signs back to Girl A.

Step 4. In order to make sure Girl B knows that the eye contact is not a mistake, Girl A looks at her again and smiles. Girl B reciprocates by mirroring.

Step 5: So at this point, either Girl A or Girl B can do the approach and be received well because they have already given each other the OK signs.

Approach or wait to be approached?

Sounds simple, but more often than not it isn’t simple.

What if both Girl A and Girl B wait for each other to do the approach?

The question is who should act?

Although there are labels like butch/femme existing, there is no written (or unwritten) rule that one naturally assumes a ‘hunter’ role and the other a ‘chooser’ role.

Even if so, in the case of lipstick lesbians, it is going to be a constant guessing game.

From past observations, typically Girl A will do the approach, because she had cast her signals first. When gathering for friends’ opinions, most of them agreed on Girl A too.

Which means that although Girl A and Girl B have sent each other signs and ‘chosen’ each other, Girl A being the first ‘chooser’, she is expected to approach.

Recognise and Act

Expectations aside, here is the good news:

As long as you have correctly identified lesbian flirting signs from a girl, she is likely to be receptive to you when you approach her.

Approaching is already going to be easy. It doesn’t matter who makes the move.

What matters is that one of you must ACT on it. If not you will just be two passing girls who happened to look at each other a little longer than usual.

The not-so-good news is:

If you have sent her your signals and you don’t get reciprocated, chances are she may not be receptive towards you.

This can apply even if you’re in a monogamous relationship. Being able to recognise signals and give out signals is a great way to make new friends easily.

It need not always have romantic or sexual overtures.

Speaking of which, Girl in bob eventually does come up to me to say hi.

I am extremely grateful for her approach because I have grown bored waiting for friends.

After some small talk she introduces to me her girlfriend, Wide-eyed girl in black.

Now I have found a lesbian couple that I can double date with.

Older-younger or Age gap relationships have always appealed to many. The appeal is almost timeless, from Mrs Robinson to Loving Annabelle. In fact, it is regardless of orientation, gender, race or any other factors you can think of.

But of course, over here the spotlight will be shining on older-younger lesbian relationships.

Something Sexy : The Older-Younger Combination

There is just something incredibly romantic and sexy about being in a older-younger lesbian relationship, especially if both of you are at different stages of your lives.

E.g. She is the successful career woman sought after by the industry, while you’re the young and upcoming newbie under her mentorship; you’re the charismatic female lecturer, while she is your intelligent, earnest student…you get the idea.

Its as if you come from 2 different worlds, and struck by a specially formulated arrow drawn from Cupid’s bow, two magically becomes one.

I have always been fascinated with women older than me.

When I was a teenager I tried dating women in their mid-twenties to early thirties. Now that I’m in my twenties, the range got extended to dating women from the mid-twenties to early forties.

I used to think that the chances of finding a good bed partner was higher in an attractive older woman than the hot girl sitting next to you in lecture hall.

I was mostly right about my pre-conceived beliefs for my own experiences.

If this were to be plotted on a graph, it would depict an upward trend to a certain extent:

The older the woman I slept with, the more fun we had in bed.

But of course, that’s not the only thing that makes them attractive. (Although its an undeniably big draw)

Given their archive of social experience, older women generally exude more confidence and carry themselves pretty well.

Dating them, to me, is a whole lot of fun and the emotional connection is often refreshing. 

I like the conversations we have; the places we go; the food we eat; our different perspectives on the same things.

Older-Younger Lesbian Seductions

I especially like the way they drop subtle seductive hints when they find themselves liking you, before they say out loud that they like you.

I find their hints juicier than their verbal declarations.

Like for example, there was this one time, I met up with this lady whom I got to know from a party.

She was 39 and I was 22.

We met up for some coffee in the afternoon at a place that had cosy couches.

It was all polite at first, but as minutes passed, we found ourselves opening up and inching towards each other.

She was attractive and well maintained for her age, and looked like she was only in her late twenties, so I couldn’t help looking at her face a little longer than I normally would.

It was electrifying how she reciprocated the ‘looks’ and periodically broke into seductive laughter.

I was hooked.

Sugar & Spice : All Things Nice

If you’re a girl wanting to date an older woman, you probably wonder what will you have to offer to the relationship?

If an older woman is sugar, then a younger woman is all spice.

Younger women, with their hunger for new experiences, youthful energy and spontaneity, are infectious.

Also, the sweet adoration one gets from her younger counterpart is priceless.

An additional ‘perk’ you get when you have a younger girlfriend is that she keeps you more current than your peers and ‘extends’ your prime.

Plus you get a combination of sugar and spice in bed

Age gap: Is it a relationship issue?

Some of you might have heard some lesbian horror stories of manipulation: younger girlfriend­­s being presented as ‘trophies’, older girlfriends being exploited as ’sugar mummies’; but there will always be ladies like that around

You can be of the same age as your girlfriend; be manipulated in the relationship, presented as a trophy and treated like a sugar mummy. At the end of the day you have to be selective about who you date.

Can a older-younger lesbian relationship go the distance? I think it can.

Although there can be many differences in this relationship (just like any other similar age relationship), once you can connect and find what makes both of you tick, the differences you have becomes like the faded background.

Afterall, we’ve seen so many of our straight counterparts in age gap relationships living their happily-ever-after stories. So, why not us?