You are curious about a particular girl.

You wonder if by any chance she is lesbian but you are not sure because she looks and behaves feminine.

Yet, you don’t want to openly ask her.

What are some reasons to put her in your lesbian suspect list till you gather more hard evidence to put her in your lesbian confirmed list?

1. She displays signs for homophobia

Many (not all) lesbians suffer from social homophobia. Social homophobia is the fear of being identified as gay.  Some go from distancing themselves from other lesbians to voicing homophobic comments about gay people in general. These attempts to dissociate themselves from the lesbian community stem from their fear of being identified as gay.

So if you are hanging out with an obvious lesbian and a friend/colleague spots you and her in a roomful of people but quickly averts her gaze to ‘dissociate’ herself from you two, something might just be up.

2. She does pedicure but skips manicure 

Which straight girl do you know, who will walk into a salon to only have her toenails pedicure done and leave her fingernails un-manicured? None that I know of.

Lesbians generally keep their fingernails short for very practical reasons and nail polish on short fingernails don’t go very well together. Also, almost all brands of nail polish contain toxic ingredients which might not make it very safe for you to finger your girlfriend with beautifully manicured fingers.

So, if you spot a girl who has pretty toenails but short and plain fingernails, she might just be a lesbian.

3. Her ring finger is longer than her index finger 

A study has shown that lesbians tend to have longer ring fingers than index fingers.  A personal observation has found this to be 83.33% true, for a mere sample size of 12 women: 5 straight women and 7 lesbians. This is given the assumption that all 12 women do not make any ‘errors’ on the reporting of their sexual orientation. 

4. She spends quite a bit of time online 

A marketing survey has revealed that the LGBT community spends proportionately more time online than the heterosexual community, particularly in social networking sites like Friendster, and perhaps Facebook. Another favourite online haunt lesbians like to go are blogs. So, if you find her always logging into Friendster or Facebook and she is always very updated on the blogosphere, she might just be your suspect. 

Bear in mind that the above reasons only suffice to suspect but not confirm if she is lesbian. For more evidence, please click here and read the section ‘Giving and Reading the Lesbian Eye Contact’.

How does one spot a lesbian? 

Judging by appearances

One of the easiest ways is to guess by appearances.

There are lesbians who sport some of the following: 

• Short hair
• Spiky gelled hair
• Mullet

• Purple yarn string bracelet on either left or right wrist (Left being single, right being taken)
• Tattoos

• Rainbow tees
• Flannel shirts
• Baggy/ill-fitting clothing
• Men’s clothes
• Clothes with both masculine and feminine touch

• Comfortable shoes

If there are any more items to add to the list, suggest them in the comment box and I’ll add them in.

Although this is an easy way to try to spot a lesbian, it is very, very, far from foolproof. 

The look doesn’t define the lesbian. The lesbian defines her look.

Not all lesbians dress the same way.

You will miss out on the lesbians who don’t have any of the above list.

And, don’t be surprised if you see a straight woman sporting a combination of items from the above list. 

Asking targeted questions 

If you get to talk to your lesbian suspect, during your conversation, ask her targeted questions about places/movies/tv shows/websites that have a lesbian following. 

Ask her if she has been to any lesbian bars. Instead of asking ‘lesbian bar’, quote the name of the bar and see if her eyes light up and she gives you a knowing look.

E.g. Have you been to Shela in Bangkok / Girl Bar in Los Angeles / Candy Bar in London? (Or any other lasting lesbian bars that is in your area)

If you know of any other notable lesbian bars to add to the list, do suggest. 

Movies, television shows and websites are good topics for opinion openers. Even if she turns out to be straight, you can still carry on a decent conversation and make a friend. If she happens to have a profile in any lesbian personals site, that is quite a giveaway. 

Again, this isn’t exactly a foolproof way, because you might miss out on lesbians who aren’t in touch with lesbian culture.

Giving and Reading the Lesbian Eye Contact

The gaydar is most useful when we want to identify whether the girls we are attracted to, are lesbians as well.

This is especially when you can’t tell by mere appearances, like in the case of lipstick lesbians.

To do this you must be good at giving and reading the lesbian eye contact.

Each time you see a girl you fancy, feel at ease to toss her your admiring look. If she returns your eye contact and you feel an intensity building up in your two-way gaze that seem to last for moments, she is possibly attracted to you as well.

This only works around lesbians who are attracted to you.

For the girls who are not attracted to you, even if they are lesbians, they will not return your gaze.

At most they will just give you a knowing look. 

If not, you can only spot the lesbian in them by observing how they behave around others.

Avoid misreading. There are straight women who can really stare at other women for seconds: looking at your shoes, clothes, bags, makeup, but they are just not into you.

Image Source: Lady In Heat, The Devil Wears Prada